You're On Your Own
I sigh. I have always felt as though I don't belong. As though I don't fit in....with my family, with my friends....with anyone...or anything. It has gotten worse since my parents had my sister, Alana. She's seven now and is treated like a princess. Once she was born, my parents abuse turned from verbal to physical. Now they don't only degrade me, they hit me as well. I guess that's why I can not remember a single memory where I'm actually happy... Oh well I suppose. I can't miss what I never had after all.
I call Morgan to tell her I'm coming over. She lives like two miles from me so I'm going to start walking now. She invited me to spend the night then go with her, her family, and Jewel to the Renaissance Festival for her birthday. Her birthday was Friday which was yesterday. I pack everything I need and put my laptop carrier over my shoulder and m sports bag on my back. I jog to her house. I knock on the front door. Her parents answer and invite me in. I start having a mild panic attack. Morgan and Jewel realize that and help me calm down. This might be fun.
I have already taken a couple videos of what's gone on and posted them on Instagram. God, this is actually fun. Morgan, Jewel, Morgan's little sister, and I group together and I take a picture of us. I look at it and gasp. I caption it: "Oh Jesus, I look like Ashley Purdy. I feel so bad for him. God, he's perfect and I'm repulsive as fuck. It's an insult that I look like him." I post it on my IG. A few minutes later, I see like six comments that are tagging him in it. I tell them to please stop, that he definitely doesn't want to see my ugly ass.
I put my phone up. We go to the table and Morgan's telling me to eat some pizza or at the very least a piece of pumpkin pie. I don't want to. Ana will be so disappointed in me if I do. She keeps pleading.
"Aleina, please try it! It's amazing! My grandmother made it and anything she makes comes out amazing even though she doesn't believe in measuring ingredients!" Ugh. She just had to say that didn't she? I cave and try some. Fuck it's amazing. I eat a small sliver of it.
"It's amazing." I say with a small smile on my face.
"Uhhh Aleina. I think you might want to check the comments on your last post." Jewel says with a slight shake in her voice.
"Just do it. I want to see if I'm hallucinating or not."
"Fine." I say and check the comments. My jaw drops. Ashley fucking Purdy commented on my post. He said: "Actually, I don't find it an insult. I find it a compliment actually. You are an extremely pretty young lady. So don't call yourself ugly or anything of the like." I look up at Jewel.
"What the absolute fuck?!" I whisper.
"What?" Morgan asks as she looks at my phone. She doesn't really know who Black Veil Brides are so I have to explain it to her.
"Damn. You're so lucky Aleina." I just shake my head. Huh, I just got a new follower. I look to see who it is and once more my jaw drops. The fuck did I do to get Ashley Purdy to follow me?! Oh SHIT! He probably already saw the pics of my drawings.. WHY?! They're so shitty... I receive a notification that I'm tagged in a post.
I read the post. The fuck? Why? Why would he tag me in a post and say those nice things about me? He doesn't even know me! I drift off to sleep with these thoughts on my mind.
I thought of this yesterday. Sorry that the chapter is so shitty.